Your Brain’s Bouncer

The R.A.S. Analogy

Your Brain’s Bouncer: The RAS Analogy

Ever notice how some people seem to glide into opportunities, while others keep tripping over the same old problems? That’s not luck. That’s your R.A.S. or Reticular Activating System, if you want the tongue-twister version.

Think of it like this: your brain is your nightclub, and your RAS is the bouncer at the door. He decides who gets in, who gets kicked to the kerb, and who gets ignored in the queue.

Motivational speaker Ed Mylett calls it the filter between you and the world. What you focus on, talk about, and obsess over… your bouncer listens. If you tell him to wave in the pests… the gossip, the negativity, the energy-drainers… then don’t be shocked when your bar fills up with troublemakers. But if you hand him a proper guest list… opportunity, gratitude, solutions… suddenly your mind is the hottest venue in town.

And here’s the kicker: you’re the boss. You own the club. What you perceive is what you receive. I am aware a lot of you like a drink so I hope this analogy hits home for you.

Different Clubs, Same Bouncer

I’ve tested this bouncer in more than one establishment.

Corporate life: my RAS was at the door deciding who came in. Promotions, office politics, trustworthy and not so trustworthy characters… Feed it fear, and my club filled with paranoia. Feed it ambition, and suddenly I was rubbing shoulders with the right patrons.

Prison: not exactly the VIP lounge. A place designed to make you feel small. My bouncer worked overtime… scanning faces, spotting patterns, watching for threats. Sometimes the only ones on the guest list were small wins, like a nod of respect or a quiet corner of peace to read a book. He kept me alive by showing me who and what actually mattered.

Detention: same bouncer, new club. He’s still working. Still pointing out opportunities, still ushering in the people and ideas that help me move forward. He hasn’t clocked off yet. He’s a workaholic, thankfully.

The lesson is universal: the crowd inside your mind is shaped entirely by who you tell your bouncer to admit.

Now picture fear as the aggressive drunk who always turns up uninvited. He’s loud, he’s sloppy, he’s waving his arms about looking for a fight.. Most people panic when they see him coming… slam the doors, duck into the back office, or pray he stumbles off to the kebab shop instead.

But your bouncer? He doesn’t flinch. He squares up at the door, arms folded, eyebrow raised. “Alright mate, not tonight” And suddenly, fear isn’t some monster in the shadows. It’s been dealt with and refused entry.

Fear of failure? The bouncer waves in resilience and resourcefulness.
Fear of rejection? He nods in connection and courage.
Fear of leaving your comfort zone? He opens the ropes for growth and possibility.

It’s not magic… it’s selective entry. Fear shows up, but the bouncer decides who gets past the rope. And more often than not, those so-called monsters are just rowdy shadows waiting to be shown the door.

How to Train Your Bouncer

Ed Mylett talks about the power of One More: one more thought, one more step, one more deliberate choice to focus on what matters. That’s how you train your bouncer. Not by wishing. Not by whinging. By handing him a guest list and insisting he stick to it.

Think of it like this:

• Your RAS is a flashlight in a dark club. Shine it on the sticky floor and all you’ll see is dust and cracks. Point it at the exit and suddenly the way forward is obvious.

• Your RAS is a radio dial. Tune into static and you’ll only hear noise. Switch the frequency and the music was there all along… you just weren’t tuned in.

• Your RAS is a GPS for the mind. Plug in “dead ends” as your destination and that’s exactly where you’ll land. But give it a destination worth chasing, and it will quietly reroute you until you get there.

A Lovable Rogue’s Advice

Life will always try to sneak trouble through the door. Fear, negativity, gossip… they’ll all try their luck at the velvet rope. But your bouncer? That’s your secret weapon. Feed him fear and he’ll let in walls. Feed him focus and he’ll open doors.

So next time fear swoops in, wink at it and tell your bouncer, “No entry for him, he’s not on the list tonight. Or any night for that matter, he’s barred,”

Your RAS is listening. And the world? It’s finally queuing up to show you exactly what matters.

Stay Unshackled, My Friends
Stephen

Disclaimer

As most of you know, I’m currently in Immigration Detention. Any mentoring or support I offer… whether to my fellow detainees or to people beyond these walls… is given freely, with no charge attached. I don’t accept payment for mentoring, whilst I am in custody. The real “reward” is seeing the effort the lads put into becoming the best versions of themselves. My commitment is simple: that anyone I work with here leaves stronger, wiser, and better than they came in. That’s the whole point of rehabilitation, isn’t it?

Now, a quick note for clarity. While voluntary donations (mostly from family and friends) sometimes come in through this writing platform to help me get by, they’re never expected, never required, and never a condition for access. Everything I share… words, support, encouragement… is available to everyone, with or without a donation.