One More Round For Ricky

Happiness isn’t set-and-forget... it’s one more round.

“We think happiness will come once we get what we want. But science shows happiness comes from wanting what we already have.” – Laurie Santos

Some days I think everything is just great. I’m writing, creating, spending quality time with the people I love. I tick the boxes I’ve set for myself and feel like I’m a pro at this game now. I know the practices, the habits, the choices that keep my happiness steady and high.

But it wasn’t always like this. For years I chased the quick fixes… the next pint, the next payday, the next distraction. I thought happiness was something just around the corner, waiting for me in the next achievement or the next indulgence. And it worked… for about five minutes. Then I was back to square one, wondering why I felt empty again.

Working through Laurie Santos’ Science of Well-Being course has sharpened this understanding. She challenges the myths we’ve all swallowed: that status, wealth, or possessions are the keys to happiness. One study she shares really struck me: people predict winning the lottery will make them permanently happier, but within a year their happiness levels usually drop back to where they were before. The same goes for those who suffer life-altering accidents. It isn’t the event that decides our happiness… it’s how we adapt.

Santos asks a brilliant question: does the tenth mouthful of chocolate make you happier than the first? The science says no… by then you’re barely tasting it. Unless you’re Irish and it’s a pint, in which case you might argue otherwise. But the point stands: more doesn’t equal happier. It’s the first sip, the first bite, the first laugh that carries the magic.

That lands with me. Because when I practice gratitude, kindness, connection, and use my time with intention, I sometimes forget I’m in a cage. That’s the paradox. The bars don’t move an inch, but the light still sneaks through them. The clang of the lock is still there, but my laughter can be louder. The air doesn’t change, but my breathing does. Happiness finds a way through, even here.

Of course, happiness isn’t set-and-forget. It isn’t a box you tick once and coast on forever. It’s the courage to keep showing up… again and again and again.

I was reminded of this during a boxing session this week. Darren, one of the Activity Staff here, was holding the pads for me. Ricky Hatton had just passed, and Darren, a Bolton man… understood the heartbreak of it. Ricky always held a special place in my heart, both as a fighter and as a person. He wasn’t just a world champion; he was a people’s champion. No frills, no flash, just heart. He carried the weight of a city and fought like he was fighting for every single one of them. I carried that same heart and passion when I watched him fight… his defiance just spoke to me. I was fortunate enough to meet him once in an Irish bar in Australia (yup, the irony wasn’t lost), and he was a complete gentleman to me and my daughter.

By the end of the boxing session I was out on my feet. Sweat dripping, arms like sandbags, lungs clawing for air. Darren said, “Okay, that’ll do.” And he was right… physically, it would appear that I was finished.

But something inside me sparked back. As usual, my voice said something before my brain could catch up

“Nah, f**k that… one more round...

One more round for Ricky!”

Darren grinned, “One more round for Ricky then.”

It was a truly great moment…

And in I went, like it was the first round, not the last. Each punch had raw will. My body had nothing left, but the why carried me through.

That’s the same fight we face with the mind. When you feel you’re over and out mentally, you’ve got to find your own “one more round.” Some days it’s getting up when you’d rather stay under the covers. Other days it’s making that call you’ve been putting off, or finding patience when frustration is clawing at you. Whatever it looks like, it’s that moment where you dig deeper than you thought possible. Do it for the ones you love. Do it for your why. That’s where happiness and resilience live… not in a finish line, but in the decision to rise and fight again.

So I reflect on my week. Where did I confuse pleasure with happiness? Where did I notice a quiet joy that asked for nothing external at all? And when I felt spent, did I dig deep and go one more round?

Happiness isn’t a destination. It’s a practice. A rhythm. A fight you recommit to, again and again and again.

And maybe that’s all happiness really is… the courage to answer the bell, one more time.

Stay Unshackled, My Friends

Disclaimer

As most of you know, I’m currently in Immigration Detention. Any mentoring or support I offer… whether to my fellow detainees or to people beyond these walls… is given freely, with no charge attached. I don’t accept payment for mentoring, whilst I am in custody. The real “reward” is seeing the effort the lads put into becoming the best versions of themselves. My commitment is simple: that anyone I work with here leaves stronger, wiser, and better than they came in. That’s the whole point of rehabilitation, isn’t it?

Now, a quick note for clarity. While voluntary donations (mostly from family and friends) sometimes come in through this writing platform to help me get by, they’re never expected, never required, and never a condition for access. Everything I share… words, support, encouragement… is available to everyone, with or without a donation.