Anti-Social Me-

Dialogue Beyond The Facebook Ferris Wheel

In Immigration Detention, my world is already confined. I can’t go where I want or see who I want, and every day carries the weight of waiting. Ten months today I have been waiting for a verdict from the Federal Court, and tomorrow marks 15 months since I was abruptly detained off the streets. The verdict will ultimately shape my future, yet the detainment itself has already shaped it in profound ways.

So, why would somebody already in custody choose to cut himself off even further from the outside world by taking a reprieve from social media?

For me, the answer came down to priorities and survival.

Why I Stepped Back

With loved ones facing major health challenges and my constant legal uncertainty pressing in, scrolling, posting and reacting felt like pouring from an empty cup. I needed space to think, reflect, and rebuild my energy, whilst staying available to the people who mattered most.

A dear friend reminded me recently that if you’re not posting regularly, you risk fading into the background of people’s lives. Not because they don’t care, but because the digital world is relentless… loud, fast, and always demanding attention.

It’s a Facebook Ferris Wheel, spinning endlessly. If you don’t climb on, you don’t get the view. And more importantly for many, you can’t be seen.

Take the example of Charlie Kirk. I haven’t watched his debates or followed the endless arguments around him, because my focus has been on the people actually in my life. If I wasn’t occasionally updated by others, I wouldn’t even know those sharp debates were happening at all. That’s the nature of the Ferris Wheel… loud, visible, and consuming if you’re on it, invisible if you step away.

As Marcus Aurelius wrote in Meditations:
“Very little is needed to make a happy life, it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.”

Stepping off the wheel doesn’t make you absent. It allows you to see life from your own perspective. Grounded in the trenches of what is real isn’t such a bad thing. It connects you to a world not dictated by the Social Media spin.

Growth in the Quiet

And in that quiet, I discovered space… real, uncluttered space.

Even here, without a job, I barely find enough time for the things I want to do. Having that space shows me how much there is I do want to do.

I’ve poured my energy into passion projects that nourish both my mind and my sense of purpose:

Signing my first ever published book for my good friend, Syed

• Building my app, planting seeds for a future beyond detention

• Writing my first published book and fulfilling a lifelong dream

• Creating my own website, crafting a platform that reflects who I am

• Writing these articles that I deliver, without fail, every Sunday

• Further educating myself by any means available to me

I came to see that growth wasn’t about waiting for the verdict, but about what I did with the waiting itself. As psychotherapist Carl Rogers said:
“The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.”

This sabbatical has been exactly that: a process of growth, creativity, and inner dialogue. When I do return, it will be with something of substance to share.

Redefining Visibility

Social media thrives on visibility. Step away, and suddenly you seem invisible. But true presence isn’t measured in likes, stories, or reactions. It’s measured in how you love, how you create, and how you show up… even quietly… for the people who matter most.

So much stress comes from keeping up with what the Dads, Brads, or Chads are arguing about online (Thanks Taylor). Truth is, most of us are already carrying enough without piling their noise on top.

I’m currently studying Laurie Santos’s course The Science of Well-Being. One study she highlights shows that social comparison… the very fuel of social media… makes us less happy. We predict inaccurately what will bring us joy, chasing likes, novelty, or external approval, only to adapt quickly and feel the same emptiness again. The research points to what actually sustains happiness: real connection, gratitude, kindness, healthy habits, and control over how we spend our time. All things that social media often distracts us from.

Think about this for second and let it sink in…we are more likely to be sad from regularly being on social media than being on a low income, becoming abruptly unemployed or having a falling out with a close friend… Wild!

Epictetus, another Stoic, reminds us:
“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.”

Choosing to step off the wheel, even when the world spins without you, is not retreating. It is a deliberate act of self-care, reflection, and creation.

In detention, freedom is limited. But energy and attention are still mine to invest where I see fit. I’ve learned to spend them on what endures: growth, creativity, and meaningful connection… priorities that matter. If you can spend hours watching reels, you can spare a little time showing genuine interest in the lives of the people you care about.

Because in the end, no one’s last thought will ever be, “I wish I’d spent more time scrolling.”

Stay Unshackled, My Friends,

Stephen

Disclaimer

As most of you know, I’m currently in Immigration Detention. Any mentoring or support I offer… whether to my fellow detainees or to people beyond these walls… is given freely, with no charge attached. I don’t accept payment for mentoring, whilst I am in custody. The real “reward” is seeing the effort the lads put into becoming the best versions of themselves. My commitment is simple: that anyone I work with here leaves stronger, wiser, and better than they came in. That’s the whole point of rehabilitation, isn’t it?

Now, a quick note for clarity. While voluntary donations (mostly from family and friends) sometimes come in through this writing platform to help me get by, they’re never expected, never required, and never a condition for access. Everything I share… words, support, encouragement… is available to everyone, with or without a donation.