Adolescence

Adolescence: Why I Had to Write About It

I have to be honest—I just couldn’t help myself from writing about this fantastic show.

Netflix’s Adolescence has stuck with me ever since I watched it. It’s haunted me in ways I can’t fully explain. I wasn’t expecting that from a show, but there’s something about it that lingers, like an ache you can’t shake off, especially as a parent.

I’ve spent days thinking about it, replaying moments in my mind over and over, and finally, I just had to get my thoughts down on paper. Maybe it’s the raw truth of it all, or maybe it’s the way it perfectly captures the confusion and pain of raising a child in today’s world. Whatever it is, Adolescence has stirred something deep inside of me that I could not ignore.

But beyond the emotional weight of the show, there’s something even more urgent we need to talk about: a murder takes place, and it’s a stark reminder of what is actually happening in the real world. This isn’t just a gripping drama—it’s a reflection of a terrifying reality. Teenagers are committing horrific acts of violence and mental abuse against each other. The abuse, the radicalisation, the peer pressure—it’s all real. And if we don’t start addressing it as a united society, more lives will be lost.

Watching a Father Break Down: A Personal Reflection

Stephen Graham’s character is the heart of Adolescence, and watching him slowly break down over the course of the show was like watching a part of myself unravel. I couldn’t help but feel every moment he struggled. He wasn’t a bad man—far from it—he was a father trying his best. But life kept throwing curveballs at him, and you could see him cracking… understandably. Stellar acting by Graham, I must say. He deserves all the awards his cabinet can hold.

When I saw Graham’s character go through that slow-burning agony, it cut deeper than I expected. It reminded me that, sometimes, as parents, we just do our best, but we can’t control everything.

But the show doesn’t just explore personal struggle—it forces us to face the brutal consequences of a generation that’s being led down dark paths.

The “Blame the Parents” Narrative in a New Light

One thing I really appreciated about Adolescence was how it challenged the typical narrative that blames parents when things go wrong with kids. When teenagers commit crimes, parents often become Public Enemy Number 2 (with the child being Number 1). The show introduces us to two siblings: one daughter who’s level-headed, responsible, and mature, and one son who’s spiraling to devastating depths. I’m sure you know of families you can relate this to?

Same parents. Same household. Completely different results.

That’s the reality. It’s not always the parents. Sometimes, despite all our efforts, kids go in different directions. You can raise them with love and care, but there are too many outside influences—social media, peer pressure, mental health issues—that shape them in ways we can’t always understand.

I saw this mirrored in my own life. My daughter and I have always had a close bond, but that didn’t stop her from experiencing the effects of my absence. You can’t control everything, and Adolescence shows us just how true that is.

But here’s the terrifying truth: sometimes, when we lose control, the consequences are catastrophic. A child spiraling in the wrong direction isn’t just about grades slipping or teenage rebellion—it can lead to violence, sexual assault and even murder. And when that happens, the blame game doesn’t fix anything. What we need is intervention.

Understanding the Language of Today’s Youth

One thing Adolescence made me realise is how out of touch I was with some of the terminology today’s teens use. If you’re a parent and you’re not up to speed, you might find yourself lost in some of these terms. But trust me, they matter.

• Red and Blue Pill: I’ll admit, I had no idea what this meant until very recently, from Instagram reels from people like Will Hitchins. The show encouraged me to research it more because I wanted to understand. In one scene, Ashley Walters’ character (DI Luke Bascombe) struggles to comprehend these terms, frustrating his son to the point his son called him “embarrassing”

• The red pill refers to an online ideology that tells young men the “truth” about society, often promoting misogynistic and toxic views.

• The blue pill is about staying ignorant and pretending you don’t know what is going on around you.

• If we don’t understand these terms, we can’t help our kids navigate them.

• Incels (involuntarily celibate): These are young people who blame women for their problems, often leading to dangerous, misguided beliefs. It’s ugly, it’s real, and it’s shaping how some kids view the world.

• The Andrew Tate Effect: If you’ve heard of Andrew Tate, you know his influence. He pushes toxic masculinity and gives dangerous advice to young men. He is not alone in this online chaos.

These aren’t just buzzwords. They’re ideologies creeping into the minds of young people. If we’re not aware, our kids could be influenced by them without us even knowing. In the worst cases, these toxic beliefs can lead to violence.

The Real-World Impact: Opening Conversations

Something incredible has come from Adolescence—it’s started conversations. Conversations we desperately needed to have.

For example, the UK government has announced that anti-misogyny lessons will be introduced in schools. That’s directly a result of the conversations this show has sparked.

For the first time, schools are openly addressing things like toxic masculinity, misogyny, and the dangers of radicalisation in their curriculum. Kids are now being taught how to critically think about the content they consume online and how these ideologies shape their perspectives.

As a parent, that’s huge. It’s opening the door to conversations between us and our kids—conversations that, frankly, we should’ve been having all along. But now, at least, we have a reason to talk about it.

But talk isn’t enough. Action is needed, because young people are tearing each other apart. We can’t just sit back and hope things will change. We have to be part of the solution.

Where Do We Go From Here?

At the end of the day, Adolescence isn’t just a show—it’s a mirror to society. It’s made me reflect on what I’m doing as a parent, and what I’m not doing. There’s a lot more I can do… and there’s a lot more I will be doing, moving forward.

It’s made me realise that I can’t afford to just nod my head when my daughter talks about the things they’re learning online. I need to understand the language, the ideologies, and the spaces they’re navigating. I can’t afford to be left behind. I need to have the tough conversations. Burying our heads in the sand is a recipe for disaster.

This doesn’t just extend to parents —it’s about society taking responsibility. Schools, governments, and entire communities need to step up. We need to educate, intervene, and be proactive to ensure we minimise all mental and physical abuse.

As Stephen Graham said recently in an interview:

“Maybe we’re all a little to blame, and we need to be accountable.”

We need a united effort to prevent these horrors from happening. We need to be there for our kids, not just as parents, but as a society that refuses to let them fall through the cracks.

Violence and abuse among teens isn’t just a fictional tragedy—it’s real, and it’s happening now.

Adolescence isn’t just a show, to me. It’s a wake-up call.

Unshackled with a willingness to learn, we can move forward.